As the world celebrates Father’s Day, it is time for an uncomfortable but necessary conversation.
We live in an age where many men proudly answer to the title “father” but have abandoned the responsibilities that come with it.
A father is not merely a man who impregnates a woman. Any male can produce a child. A father is a leader, a teacher, a provider, a disciplinarian, a protector, a mentor, and above all, the spiritual head of the family.
Unfortunately, many modern fathers have abdicated that sacred responsibility.
The consequences are all around us.
The alarming rise in insecurity, drug abuse, cultism, internet fraud, armed robbery, kidnapping, prostitution, truancy, broken homes, and declining moral values did not emerge from thin air. Many of these social maladies are symptoms of a deeper crisis, the collapse of fatherhood.
Our fathers of yore were not perfect men, but they understood duty and responsibility.
They woke before dawn and slept late.
They demanded respect.
They enforced discipline.
They monitored their children’s friends.
They corrected misconduct immediately.
They taught morals, values, hard work, honesty, integrity, and fear of God.
Many of them had little formal education, yet they produced doctors, engineers, teachers, soldiers, clergy, professionals, entrepreneurs, and responsible citizens because they understood that raising children was a sacred assignment, not a casual hobby.
The fathers of yesteryear also understood that fatherhood extended beyond the boundaries of their own households. It was not uncommon for a man to adopt, sponsor, mentor, or train children who were not biologically his own. Orphans, relatives, neighbours’ children, and even complete strangers found shelter, guidance, education, apprenticeships, and opportunities under the watchful care of responsible men who believed that every child deserved a chance in life.
Today, such noble acts have become increasingly rare and, in many cases, are considered risky, dangerous, or even unthinkable. The culture of communal responsibility that once defined our society has steadily eroded. Fathers of old paid close attention not only to their own children but also to their children’s friends. If they observed a young person lacking guidance, discipline, or positive mentorship, they often stepped in to provide direction and support. They deliberately encouraged interactions among the children of friends, relatives, neighbours, and community members, fostering relationships that transcended family lines. These bonds created lifelong networks of trust, loyalty, and mutual support that endured even when those children grew into adulthood and settled in different cities, countries, or continents. In doing so, they strengthened not only individual families but entire communities.
Today, many children grow up isolated, disconnected, and deprived of the village that once helped raise them, leaving them vulnerable to influences that neither parents nor society can easily control.
Today, too many fathers have become spectators in the lives of their children.
Some know every football score but do not know their children’s closest friends.
Some know every political development but have never attended a parent-teacher meeting.
Some can spend hours on social media but cannot spend thirty minutes teaching values to their children.
Some have outsourced parenting to mothers, schools, churches, mosques, nannies, smartphones, and the internet.
Others are physically present but emotionally absent.
Many have become drinking companions to their sons rather than role models.
Many have become competitors with their daughters for popularity instead of guardians of their moral upbringing.
The result is a generation growing up without guidance, boundaries, accountability, or purpose.
A society that produces boys without fathers eventually produces men without character.
And men without character eventually become the criminals, kidnappers, cultists, terrorists, fraudsters, and violent offenders that terrorise society.
Every notorious criminal was once a child.
Every kidnapper was once somebody’s son.
Every cultist was once somebody’s boy.
Every drug addict was once somebody’s child.
While poverty, bad governance, unemployment, and societal pressures play their roles, we must also acknowledge a painful truth: many fathers have abandoned their duty posts.
The family is society’s first institution.
When fathers fail at home, governments spend billions trying unsuccessfully to repair the damage on the streets.
No amount of police recruitment can replace parental guidance.
No military operation can fully compensate for moral upbringing.
No government programme can substitute for a father who teaches discipline, responsibility, and respect.
The security crisis confronting many nations today is not merely a failure of government. It is also, in part, a failure of homes.
A nation’s prisons are often filled with the products of broken families.
Its rehabilitation centres are crowded with children who lacked guidance.
Its streets are populated by young people searching for direction they never received at home.
The first security officer in every society is not the police officer.
It is the father.
The first teacher is not the school.
It is the father.
The first pastor, imam, mentor, counsellor, and role model is often the father.
When he abandons that position, a vacuum is created, and nature abhors a vacuum.
That vacuum is quickly filled by gangs, drugs, social media influencers, criminal networks, peer pressure, pornography, and other destructive influences.
Today, many children know celebrities better than they know their fathers.
Many seek validation from strangers because they never received affirmation at home.
Many grow up without understanding sacrifice, honour, responsibility, or accountability.
And society is now paying the price.
This Father’s Day is therefore not merely a celebration.
It is a call to repentance.
A call to responsibility.
A call to restoration.
Fathers must return to their posts.
They must become spiritual leaders once again.
They must teach values again.
They must discipline with wisdom and love.
They must lead by example.
They must become involved in the lives of their children.
They must stop outsourcing fatherhood.
History will not remember us for the houses we built, the titles we acquired, the businesses we owned, or the wealth we accumulated.
History will remember us for the quality of men and women we raised.
To the fathers who continue to sacrifice silently, who pray for their families, who provide despite hardship, who guide despite opposition, and who remain steadfast in their responsibilities, we honour you today.
But to those who have abandoned their duty, society’s verdict is becoming increasingly visible in the streets, schools, prisons, rehabilitation centres, and graveyards of our nation.
Fatherhood is not a privilege.
It is a sacred obligation.
And when fathers fail, families suffer.
When families suffer, communities weaken.
When communities weaken, nations decline.
The restoration of our nation must therefore begin where all nations begin, at home.
Happy Father’s Day to the fathers who still understand that fatherhood is not about making children.
It is about raising them.
By Duruebube Uzii na Abosi
Hon. Chima Nnadi-Oforgu
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